Security

It's been hitting me pretty hard the last month or so just how easily i grasp for things to make me feel secure, when all the time those things are not real security at all. The desire to take a sense of safety from the ability to make life work; relationships, job and the like. A false hope that gaining the approval of others will secure me and ease the ache of living in an uncertain world. In the midst of all this i see the Father graciously disrupting the areas of my life where i am prone to lean for "support," which is really no support at all. He seems intent on promoting situations in my life where i can no longer hold on to the things which _ in and of themselves are not bad _ but become idols for me. And all the while He seems to be calling me into the Cloud of Unknowing to show me _ yet again _ that He is my security. It's almost a Job situation, where all the things Job looked to for certainty and comfort were taken away. Certainly, my situation does not match his on the circumstantial level at all. i have not lost family, friends, home and livelihood. But just as God was revealing to Job that Job's true security and identity are found in God, He seems to be working that deeper into the fabric of my life as well.

How easily i look to the wrong things . . . so subtle many times . . . how fickle my heart is . . . and how often the Body of Christ as a whole gets astray in looking to the wrong things as well. The captivity of heart is sometimes an outright attack, at other times a subtle insinuation as the Enemy comes, reasonably, and we corrupt good things, almost unaware that we are replacing God with them.

Nobody moves and nobody gets hurt;
It's how we're living _ lives in a shell
Like waking up each day with a shackle.
i don't want to risk feeling too much,
Can't you leave me alone?
Good fences make good neighbors.

Sitting contently in the dark,
Falling in love with enemies dressed up like our friends.
We've got our eyes on the prize,
But is it the right one?

And we feel the longing,
Inconsolable as it seems.
A hunger in the darkness,
This most beautiful dream.

Title IX

i'm not as well versed on this subject as many others, but as i was stumbling about the editorial page of the New York Times, this caught my attention. Surprising thoughts when you get to the end and find out who the author is.

While i thought his movie was completely misguided and a piece of propaganda, i agree with his thoughts on Title IX.

The New York Times had this on its editorial page today. Interesting thoughts on a possible war with Iraq, and the consideration of What Would Jesus Do? The writer raises good questions. The numerous variations of WWJD? are _ quite frankly _ getting absurd.

Sunday and . . .

In the abyss of your silence i drown;
Even just a word would be so profound;
At a time like this, i stand all alone,
Or i hit my knees, my weary spirit just moans.

Are you taking more and giving me less?
Are we playing games when we come to confess?
What will get us past this hollow dance and facade?
Do we stop to think how this life turned so odd?

Knocking on your door but i get no reply.
Someone comes to answer but his tongue is too sly
To give me what i need in the core of my soul;
It just leaves me torn and feeling so cold.